The scene opens to the inside of a sports bar.
TV’s glow in every direction you look, some with the most recent highlights, others with talk shows featuring hosts who have never even played a sport. Waitresses walk around wearing skimpy garments, obviously designed to increase tips, check on the tables to see if they can upcharge the bill. The sound is a live basketball game going on the large Scoreboard like TV in the center of the room
Eventually the camera focuses in on a table in the back area, behind the table sits a bloated “Lovely” Lance Mingle.
On the table in front of him sits a Pizza stand. On the stand is a few pieces of crust, a pepperoni, and a whole mess of marinara sauce. Sitting beyond the well eaten pizza remnants sits 4 empty glasses, showing small amounts of Foam on them, indicating they may have been full of Alcoholic beverages recently.
After a loud belch and a rubbing of his tummy. Lance signals for the waitress to come over. She shoots him a look of disgust as he reopens the menu left on his table but comes over to feed the beast anyway.
Yes sir, what else can I get you?
Lance looks her up and down and is about to say something sexually gratifying but decides better of it. Instead he tosses one of the crusts into his mouth and chews loudly.
Yea, let me get an order of the fried cheese! Now, there’s no vegetables in that right? It’s just cheese?
She nods quickly.
That’s right sir, it’s just cheese with a breaded outside. Then we dip it in the fryer and bring it to you. Now if you want vegetables, we do offer the cheesy broccoli medley and you can….
Lance holds out his hand inches from her face, telling her to stop. He’s still glancing down at the menu. He chuckles.
“If I wanted vegetables…. Imagine WANTING vegetables…”
The Waitress is incredulous at the lack of respect he’s showing.
Waitress: (under her breathe)
Well if you weren’t such a fat fuck….
Lance raises his head. Meets her eye contact now.
What did you just say?
She collects herself. Nervously she squeaks out….
I said ‘Well the catfish doesn’t suck!”
Oh well in that case bring me two orders!
The lady rolls her eyes, takes the order and disappears towards the back before Lance Mingle waves a glass at her.
Another one of these too!
Lance looks around proudly at the mess he’s begun to collect. He thinks to himself that it’s been a great night. That’s when he finally sees it. Everything came together at once. He looks at the large TV in the middle of the place and crawling across the bottom of the screen was breaking news!
Mikey Unlikely debuts in TheFWF, To face Lance Mingle first.
With a hard gulp Lance swallows whatever was left in his mouth. He continues to stare wide eyed at the tv, almost paralysed by the sight of the news.
“I have to face WHO!?”
Once more he freezes in place. At first it’s a look of being afraid, then it’s quickly followed up by a smile.
“Wait a minute…. If I were to SOMEHOW… SOMEWAY…. Beat the biggest movie star in the business…. Then MAYBE...I’ll be the biggest movie star in THEFWF~!”
A cold beer lands next to Mingle, he swipes it up and takes a long cool sip. As he places it back on the table he has a beer foam mustache.
“That’s how it works right? I mean you beat a champion you get his belt…. So it stands to reason if I beat Mikey, I get his job!”
Lance pounds the beer in front of him. He looks both ways for the waitress, can’t find her, so it’s the perfect time for him to DASH!
Lance runs out on the bill. What a loser!
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry